I slept until almost 7AM this morning. That's a bad sign. I never sleep that late. Usually up between 3 and 4, churning out news. Not today. Today is a bad day in my recovery from open heart surgery . . .
My torso feels as though someone beat the living crap out of me yesterday. Every slice they made of my internal mammary artery . . . I feel. Every cut they made to the soft, connective tissue around my heart and lungs, I feel. Every saw-blade mark they made while slicing open my Sternum bone, I feel.
In my right leg, there's more swelling where they harvested the veins they ultimately used to replace clogged arteries on my heart. The swelling is causing tingling and numbness up and down my right leg.
Overall, I feel like crap.
I'm gonna have to take it easy today.
I know some of you are having access trouble with your subscriptions, and I have been working -albeit slowly - to resolve those issues. I just need you to be patient a little longer.
Doctors told me this was "as major surgery as a person can get" and that it would take at least two months before some semblance of "normal" returned. I didn't believe them. I thought if I just pushed harder, that everything would be ok. I told myself that I'm tougher than the rest, that I can push farther than the rest, that I will get through faster than the rest. All I had to do, I told myself, was apply mental toughness and push through.
I was wrong.
My body has had quite enough of me pushing it around since the April 25 surgery and May 1, hospital release date.
It definitely did not like me getting behind the wheel of my car yesterday to go get my hair cut, even though I was ferociously warned not to drive for two months after surgery.
Today, the body is pushing back, and I lost already. Pain is a strong deterrence and today, I am in pain.
Thankfully, I have not opened the prescription Dilaudid which is an Opioid pain reliever they gave me on my discharge from hospital. I want to avoid those pain meds like the plague because of their ability to cause addiction.
I'm relying on Tylenol and Aspirin.
I hate to sound like a sissy, but today, I HAVE to slow down. It just hurts too much.