It shoots out money at enemies and flies a white flag.
His & His Restrooms
Instead of calisthenics, all enlisted will be required to exercise running, carrying a television set.
No mess hall. Just EBT cards and a McDonalds.
If you like your transgender bunk mate, you can keep your transgender bunk mate.
It can take a torpedo up the stern and like it...
Floor show every night!
The vessel will be like his rectum; round and full of seamen.
Glory holes at all duty stations
Instead of showers it has bath houses.
The main guns shoot Vaseline.
It's secret weapon is a golden turd shot off the poop deck with a black ramrod.
Once deployed, it prevents enemies from receiving healthcare.
Rainbow camouflage and powered by Solyndra solar panels
The poop deck actually is for outdoor shitting for the Kenyan crew.
The bowsprit is a lifesize nude Michael with a stiffy.
To turn it on you have to plug the exhaust.
It can take pink torpedoes in three bays at once.
The crew loooovesss playing with the big guns.
Call to prayer plays constantly once it's in international waters.
The chaplain will be well versed in black liberation theology... but will really be a Muslim.
Cocaine. Lots of cocaine.
Male ballerinas with 9 and a half fingers having dance offs.
Solar panels made of used heroin needles that cost 60 million each and don't do a damn thing.
No rudder, the damn ship just keeps turning left in a permanent circle.
Village People Playing over the PA 24/7.
A minaret conning tower
On board goat pens for crew relief
Uniforms will be slightly modified with easy access rear Velcro fly
Uses "green" energy, - SAILS
When it docks in Saudi Arabia, it bows down.
Secret weapon triggers white guilt en masse, making the "enemy" destroy itself
It will only attack America.
Hat tip to GLP for this content . . . .