I Woke Up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a good night's sleep last night.  I woke up!  Thank You Almighty God!

It may sound corny, but there was a real question in my mind as to whether or not I was going to wake up today.  I actually wondered if the reason I was home early (against medical advice) was a small gift of time from God for me to say Good-bye to my wife, son, and mom.  Believe it or not, I was actually afraid to go to sleep last night for fear I wan't going to wake up.

This new incident with my heart was a VERY big deal.  A SECOND heart attack just 17 months after the first heart attack and quadruple cardiac artery bypass surgery?  It's almost unheard of.  But it happened to me.

Blood clots filled one of the bypasses (left circumflex) and stopped the blood flow to a big part of my heart.

I knew something was wrong.  I had the sensation of a leak a few weeks ago.  Everyone told me I was nuts.  They said if I had a leak, I'd have been dead already.  It was all in my head, they said.

Yea.  right.  

When Docs did the second cardiac catheterization and found the bypass was blocked, they inserted a stent into my original circumflex artery to re-open it 100%.  But it was super dangerous to do that because the type of blockage in that original artery was such that a stent could cause part of the blockage to break off and travel into my heart, lung, or brain and kill me.

In fact, it was just moments after the stent was placed that my heart went into Ventricular tachycardia.  Something had gone VERY wrong.

It was a horrifying feeling to breath in, but feel as though I was not getting enough air.   So I breathed faster, still not enough.  I broke out in a profuse sweat, tried to breathe deeper but couldn't.

The surgical team called for the "Fast Response Team" . . I was getting worse, very fast.

The PA system in the hospital "Fast Response Team to Cath Lab ...whatever number"   OMG, that's for me.

They took a snap x-ray of my chest - no film, just a digital x-ray which popped right up on the computer screen.  No fluid collecting my lungs.  No immediately visible clot.  So WHY was I going downhill in front of their eyes?

Doctors of every age, every race, both sexes, firing off thoughts to each other in rapid succession.  On-the-spot consultations, decades of friggin experience at one of the best hospitals in the New York City/ northern New Jersey region.  An absolutely terrific hospital, all coming to bear on . . . . me.

They gave me nitroglycerin to at least relax my blood vessels so if it was a flow problem, that would ease it and give them time.  They shot me full of blood thinners for the same reason.

Whatever they did, things started to get better.  My breathing eased.  My color returned.  My sweating stopped.

WOW.  That was effin scary.   I mean actually scary.

I had been dying right then and there.  I knew it.  Doctors knew it.  Nurses knew it.

I'm 58 years old this isn't supposed to happen to guys my age.  Well, it did.

So I go to sleep as best as possible given the beeps, blips, and buzzes of the equipment in the room

The next day, still OK, but the guy in the bed next to me, an old timer, couldn't use the toilet and every time he had to crap, he used a bed pan.  The stink.  Uhhhhhhhh.

So yesterday afternoon, after his third bout of crap that day, I left the hospital A.M.A.

I got home and wondered if I made the big mistake everyone told me I was making?

I prayed earnestly last night.  I mean, I REALLY prayed.  On my knees.

I repented  the sins I've committed.  

I didn't pray for life, or for health.  I REPENTED.  I earnestly apologized to God for the sins I committed and asked Him to forgive me.

I'm crying right now just writing this because I was so earnest; truly sorry for the sins I've committed.

And I am.

I went to sleep around 8:30 last night.  Woke up around 11.  Went right back to sleep, woke up around 2:25.  Went right back and woke up around 4:40.  Went right back and now, around 8:15,. I'm up.

Alive.  

Wow.

This was a big, BIG deal.   Very serious.  

I went from being a reasonably productive, reasonably healthy 58 year old, to a literally dying weakling within seconds.

Life is truly a gift.  I took it for granted for a long time.  No more.

Thank you Almighty God YHVH for this chance at life again.

Amen.