After finding a House-sitter for my mom's house, I returned to my home in New Jersey. Arrived about 3:00 this afternoon. There WILL be a show tonight - with good audio!!!!!
You know, the death of my mom, so unexpectedly, literally SMASHED ME. I've been an emotional wreck since Friday night when we got the call that she was found on the bathroom floor, and appeared to be having a stroke.
Here's the audio from that shortened show wherein I told my audience what had happened only minutes earlier:
You can hear the worry in my voice, and I was already very emotional.
Of course, you folks know the terrible situation the we found ourselves in, with mom having suffered what Doctor's described as a "catastrophic cerebral hemorrhage." I wrote about it HERE.
Then, on Saturday, the hideous decision about removing the respirator from my own mother, and the roller coaster of events that took place as a result, ending, finally, with her death early Sunday morning. I wrote about all that, HERE.
So when I tell you I've been an emotional wreck, it's really true. Of course, all this stems from the fact that I loved my mom dearly and she loved me.
There are some moments when the emotions are so profound, the sadness actually hurts, physically.
All growing up, the folks in my generation were told "Real men don't cry." Bullshit. Real men cry because they don't have to give a shit what anyone thinks about it! And cry I have. Over and over and over again. It's coming less frequently, but it comes in waves.
Little things. Silly things will trigger it.
Like this morning when I left the house in Pennsylvania to come home.
My mom's house is on land along a creek. So it is lower than the street, and one has to go UP the driveway to exit the property.
So as I got to the top of the driveway, I looked back to see my mom, who always waited outside and waved good bye. Except today . . . no mom.
Well, that did it. WHAM. A crying jag. Lasted a few miles.
This has been a terrible, terrible loss for me.
I want you to know that YOU helped ease the burden with your kind wishes and most of all, your prayers. It really does mean a lot to me.
I will do a show tonight. There will be NO LIVE SHOW on Thanksgiving. I'll run a repeat.